Lies

Most studies show that most people lie at least twice a day. And those are just the lies they admit to. You can call them tall tales, little fibs, falsehoods, exaggerations, etc. Regardless, a lie is a lie. I have been pondering the subject for a while now as I am usually most disgusted when I discover someone has lied to me. So...is it ever okay to lie? Considering we are all guilty of it to some degree, I guess it is.

I was recently in a situation where lying was absolutely necessary in order to help a family that was in deep despair. Did I feel good about the lying part? Absolutely not. But in that moment, lying was the only right thing to do in order to right a wrong. So I guess there are certain situations in which it is okay to not be 100% truthful. For example, a hostage situation (emergency lie), in my situation described above (a noble lie-lies that maintain an orderly and just society), in a comedy shoe (jocose lie), in a poker game (bluffing), and maybe even a little white lie here and there.

As I write this, I can think of situations where maybe I should have lied. Several years ago a friend of mine was getting married. She sent myself and all of the bridesmaids pics of the bridesmaids dress that she spent so much time and effort picking out. She was uber excited about this dress. When she said "do you like it?" I should have simply said "this will look amazing with your overall theme. It is perfect." Instead, I said "NO, it is ugly". I was young, immature, and just plain dumb. I didn't yet realize the art of tact or the amount of emotional stress a wedding can cause. Needless to say, she was very upset at my overly blunt response and I deeply regret not telling a little white lie in this instance. To this day, I still struggle with filtering thoughts to a certain degree. Most of my friends have come to the realization that if you don't wanna know the truth then you shouldn't ask Shana. You can say "do you like my shoes". Currently, I might respond with something like "hmmm....umm....they look nice with that jacket". But I say it with such hesitation and look so uncomfortable that they know I hate the shoes. So usually a follow up question comes around. "So, you really don't like them huh?". Then I am forced to tell the truth! I feel so bad about it. But my friends know that I mean no harm or malice. It's actually kind of funny.

Now...there are certain situations in which lying is never okay. In a courtroom, in a situation where you are intentionally misleading, lying by omission, flat out bold-faced lies, and many more! When I discover that people have lied to me in this fashion it causes me to lose a ton of respect for them. Basically, you never believe anything they say. One situation that really baffles me is when people lie about accomplishments or on a job interview. Your accomplishments are all verifiable, so why go there? And why lie about your abilities. If you get the job, you will quickly be found out. If you have to lie to get a job, then maybe this job isn't for you. Another situation that baffles me occurs when people continue to lie after being caught in a lie. That's just crazy! And again, I didn't trust you when I discovered the initial lie. Now I really don't trust you in your subsequent lies.

So where are we? Lying is sometimes a necessary evil. But other times, it is flat out wrong! I guess we all need to set our own personal lying threshold.