What's Next?

I have been pondering life, my future, past decisions, and etc. over the course of this year. 2010 has been a year of "what's next" for me! And I know why. I am approaching 30 in January. Now don't get me wrong, I have been successful in my profession, bounced back when the economy tried to knock me down, personally fulfilled with a wonderful husband who truly worships me, the sweetest dogs anyone could ever want, great friends, great family, and so on. But still, something is missing. My blog readers may immediately jump to the conclusion that a child may be that missing piece. But I don't agree. While I am the most maternal person you will ever meet and love children so much, I know I am not ready to take that step at this time. When I pictured my life years ago, I did imagine children. Possibly 2 at this point. But now, things are different and I am not there (willing to babysit though. LOL!).

So again, what's next? I have always had this feeling that I am destined for greatness and that there is something that I am supposed to be doing in this life....something big. Something that is more fulfilling than anything I have done to date. I'm not sure if you all have seen a movie called "The Women" with Debra Messing, Meg Ryan, and Jada Pinkett Smith. In the movie, Meg Ryan's life was merely a life of existence. Sure she had a beautiful daughter and wealth beyond measure, but she was far from fulfilled. She eventually stepped out on faith and followed her life's true calling, clothing design. When her daughter saw a mother that was fulfilled completely, she looked at her mother differently. Prior to the change, she viewed her mom as the typical annoying mom and was somewhat detached from the relationship. But once her mother was fulfilled, she became an awe inspiring figure for that child. Her daughter was amazed at her energy, vitality, zest for life, and complete self-awareness. That's what I want! And to have that I must find my calling.

The best thing that I can do for my future children is to be a completely happy woman. Not someone who goes through the motions or is only partially happy. We've all been there. You may have a great family, but hate your job. You may love your job at your families expense. You may give so much to others that you neglect yourself. On this season's Celebrity Apprentice, Cindy Lauper (of all people) said the most dynamic thing I heard all year. She said "nothing happened for me 'til I was 30". As I approach 30, I am convinced that 2011 will be my year to make it happen and find that complete satisfaction that I have been searching for. I look forward to sharing this journey with you all!